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Lawrence E. Kincade, Ph.D., LCSW >
Relationship Tips
- Think before you speak. Sometimes we say things to our partner that we wouldn't say to a friend or even a stranger.
- Wait. Timing is everything. Can this issue be discussed at a later time when you or your partner are less emotionally charged? Sometimes waiting a day makes a major difference in your perspective.
- Accentuate the positive. Try to say at least two positive things to your partner each day. Make sure the positive interactions outweigh the negative.
- Take your own inventory first. What can you do to make the relationship better? Sometimes one change on the part of one person can set a positive chain reaction in motion.
- Ask for what you want. Your partner cannot read your mind. Be specific if you can. Instead of saying, "you never hug me," say, "I would really like more hugs."
- Remember that all relationships go through stages (see Five Stages of Marriage). Just because romance has dwindled doesn't mean your relationship is in trouble.
- Make it a part of your regular routine to have a date with your partner.
- Remember, you won't solve all your problems. Agree to disagree and live with it more peacefully.
- Be an inquiring mind. Ask your partner questions that help you get to know them better.
- Lighten up. Use humor to keep things from getting out of control.
- Stay friends. Be respectful. Remember, your partner is a separate human being with different needs, thoughts and feelings.
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